suddenly, about marriage
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
|| 12:09 AM
This may come as a weird topic, coming from me. No no I am not getting married, I am just posting this to show my concerns on the said topic....MARRIAGE!
Some of my friends got married....my sister got married...my cousin got married. I've been observing all these people that got married, from my point of view, some of them still have no idea what to do after they got married. Like, "Yay, I am married now wohoo!! I own her now yeah!!....so what's next?". Yes, my concern are the guys, not the ladies, since guys will be the head of the family, so yea, they sure have a lot of work to do after marriage.
This post might butthurt some married couples, but, sooner or later, someone should tell them about this anyway. So yea, continue at your own risk.
Firstly, to get married, there are 2 starting points that can affect the flow of your marriage, in a good way of course (if the plan goes well) :
- Secure everything before you get married; house, furniture, car, and everything necessary for you and your future wife to live.
- Secure everything on the go, but, with a plan. The plan of course, requires money...and a functioning brain.
For the first point, it is considered the most convenient way to start your new life with your wife. This is to ensure that, after you got married, there will be no need to scratch your head on how to get all the stuffs. To put it in easier way, just "Take her, and go".
As for the second point, yes of course, money is the main point for the plan to work. But the benefits in this is that, you and your wife can share ideas on how to start the new life; what kind of house, where to live, etc. Again, money is the main factor, make sure you are awesome, financially, before going for this method, so that whatever you want, you can just grab it.
Still, many of these people I've seen that got married, they always go for the 2nd starting point; Secure everything on the go, but the thing is, they are weak, financially. So, when this happens, it will lead to the most common survival instinct used by these people; stay at in-law's or own parents' house.
Of course they will welcome you for staying at their house, but how long will it last?
By staying in their home, yes you are still their child, but the privileges are not the same anymore because now, you are staying as a guest, yes I repeat, a guest. Which means, to stay there, you have to behave like a guest, in other words, maintain good behavior, since they are the one's who is helping you right now, you have no choice. Well, these are what I meant by "good behavior" :
- If you want to eat/ cook something, try and use your own supplies as much as possible.
- Since you are staying there, why don't you contribute some money for the bills? Seriously, without you staying there, their bills should reduced, not the other way around.
- Respect your parents even more now, by this I meant, do not argue whenever things didn't go as you want (in the house). For example like, when there are no food supplies, when they ask you to do some cleaning but you don't feel like doing it, etc.
- Try to find a house as soon as possible. Once you get one, get out of their house. The sooner you leave the house, the better. This is to make sure their views towards you will not turn negative.
All these points comes from my own experience. No I am not married yet lol, what I meant is from observing some of the married couples I managed to get my eyes on. No, not stalking strangers, I meant, the ones that are close to me...ok let us continue.
Okay, not just guys, there are some advice for the girls as well. We have to admit, there are some girls that are really spoiled, like really really spoiled, and has no idea that she's already married and still acting like a brat. I've seen this kind of person, like, LIVE. These are some of the shits happened that I still happen to remember:
- The mother cooked some dish (the daughter and the son in law are off to work and will be home late.). Of course, the whole family ate, the amount of rice left is really low. Once the daughter got back, she cooked ANOTHER dish especially for her husband, which then she happens to find out the rice is not enough. She went nuts, blaming her mom for everything, saying things like "Why didn't you tell me this??! Now how is HE going to eat with no rice?!?!", like as if it's her mom's responsibility now to take care of her husband as well. Not to mention the dish she cooked, is from her mom's supplies...which she never contribute back after using. Also, who cooks a dish without checking the rice first....genius.
- The mother and father packed her daughter's stuff nicely inside a box, so she can take it back to her new house. The daughter then found out her stuffs got packed, and starts to go nuts again. Saying stuff like, "Why are you doing this to me?! You really want me to get out izzit?! You just don't want me here anymore huh?!", and then later, the daughter was like refuse to talk to her parents and all, acting like a spoiled child. First of all, YOU ARE MARRIED, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD GET OUT. It is good enough for her parents to provide a temporary place to stay, and even more, they helped packing stuffs for her, which she should be the one to do it. If I am not mistaken, her parents never once said anything similar to "get out".
These 2 stories are the only ones that I can remember clearly. But yea, this is the kind of person that needs a smack in the face once a while ya know. Someone should really knock the sense out of them sooner or later....or they can just read this blog post. Please please and please respect your parents, especially when they are being nice to you and all. Please do not abuse their hospitality, with you staying at their place, they have suffered enough already, please do not add more salt to their wounds by being such a bitch and all.
Back to the guys. Lastly, these are some final tips to make your life easier once you got married. Some of it actually comes from common sense:
- Be matured. Duh.
- Maintain good relationship with in-laws. Refer back to the list I made on "good behavior living in parents' house".
- If you went for option 2; Secure everything on the go, make sure you maintain your finance wisely. Never buy anything useless which can affect you from buying the necessary stuffs like house, furniture, etc. Once you have the necessary stuffs, then you can spend on the useless stuffs, which you must spend wisely as well, so you won't end up eating instant noodles everyday.
- .....that's all I guess?
Sorry for the long post. Well, I do admit that this blog post seems like a newbie's view on marriage, but trust me, most of them still need someone to tell them all this. If you think life after marriage is difficult, guess what, that means you are still not ready for it, in other words, DON'T GET MARRIED. All you need is love? Bullshit. You need love and money! If love can feed you and give you shelter, then why not, just stick to love then.Remember, this ain't wonderland.
.....and I still have no Idea why I post this shit which has nothing to do with me......oh well.