It's Okay

Saturday, November 12, 2016 || 2:44 PM || 0 comments ||

I am used to it.

Yes, mom.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016 || 10:44 PM || 0 comments ||

Couldn't agree with you more.

Based on what you told me, sure, I don't think I can love anyone without hurting them. All will end up running away from me. Yeap.

It wasn't my choice to end up like this. I was brought up to become, this.

So yea.

I guess the best choice is to die alone.

No one will get hurt. Even me.

Remember that time you told me that I almost died while you giving birth to me?

Perhaps you should have just let me die rather than turning into this, monster.

Should have just let me die.


|| 11:57 AM || 0 comments ||

Higher ups.

These are the type of individuals that'll pop up whenever we mention about respect.

But for this part, I'll specifically be focusing on parents.

It's true, I agree. We should respect them. They put food on the table, they paid for your educations , provided all the necessities, gave shelter,  aaaaand everything else you already know and reminded again and again.

Yes, we should respect them.

But I do believe that,  it's not just a one way thing. It goes both ways.

" heh? They are my children. Why should I be the one giving respect. "

There is a fine line between respect, and worship.

Even respect can be broken down into 2 types; because you love em, or simply because, you have to.

But again, I believe, it goes both ways.


Because you made us.
With no choice we have to live this life.
Whatever choices you made.
Good or bad.
Especially when mostly are bad.
Especially, when those choices are for your own good, not ours.
We have to live through it.
Just tears, but no complaints.
You mock, you abuse, you hurt.
We still living the life.
The life you gave us.

So yea.
I do believe we deserve a bit of fucking respect.

Truthfully my life is not that bad.
I am alive still, that's good.
But it could have been better

Could have been better.

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Please. Don't.

Friday, October 14, 2016 || 4:41 AM || 1 comments ||

Was born into this world.
No guidance, no purpose in life.
Only these "commands" were given.
Again and again...

"Make us proud."
"Be successful."
"Don't embarrass us."

...but how?

"Guide me. Please."
Again and again, I asked.
All I get was more questions.
I need answers.

Took everything into my own hands.
Tried this and that.
Succeeded some, failed a lot.
I tried. I gave all I got.

Publicly shamed.

"Stupid boy."
"You can't even get this right?"
"What did you learn at school?"


I asked them..

"Guide me."
"What I should do."

That was what I get.

I stopped trying.
I stopped asking.
I just, stopped.


But still.

Life goes on.
Adult life started.
Still clueless.
Still confused.

Funny enough.
Despite being put down again and again.
I do have a plan in life.
On what I want to become.

And here goes another chapter of my life.

Was thrown into another world of pain.
Doing things I don't want to do.
Everything I have planned, dropped them all.
For this thing I don't see myself doing.
Not in this life.

But nevertheless, I am here.
Made a lot more mistakes than progress.
A lot more disappointments.
A lot more pain.

I want out.
Take me away from this place.
I am sick of this life.
No guidance. No purpose.


Luckily though...

Everything changed.
Met a lot of new people.
I started learning again, because of these people I met.
I started living my life again, because of these people I met.

I feel better.
I feel great.

It took a while.
But I get what I wanted since a very long time ago.

I am glad.
I am happy.

I never stopped learning.
I never stopped living.
But one more question remains.

"..what's my purpose in this life?"

This biggest question of all.
Haunts me every time.
Drives me insane.
I need to know.


Until I met a special someone.
Who taught me what's more to life than just, this.
Who taught me what is it means to be alive.
Who taught me what it means to love someone.

But most importantly.
My purpose, in this life.
Now I get it.

You don't live your life just for you.
You live it for others as well.
That's how you stay alive.
That's how you stay, sane.


With no guidance, there will be no love.
With no love, there will be no purpose.

Don't reproduce.
If you can't do any of those three.
Worst, if you can't explain any of those three.


Hello, old friend

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 || 2:55 AM || 0 comments ||

It's been a while.
Been through so much.
Lots of memories, lots of experiences.
I shall write it here, once again.
Just for the sake of, writing it.

.....and some other stuffs that made me who I am today.

See you soon.

Suddenly, about my dream in video making

Friday, June 21, 2013 || 5:21 AM || 0 comments ||

Oh when will I get joo~

First of all, I am a big fan of trailer videos and if possible, I'd like to make lots of trailer type videos. Not just that, I am also super interested in directing and shooting scenes, especially those scenes which can fit nicely into trailer videos. But yea, for my dreams to come true, I will be needing the right gadgets and tools, which is kinda impossible for now.

Ideas, lots of ideas running in my head whenever I watch trailer videos, be it movie trailers or random university project trailers. Whenever I watch em, with the right song, I will start imagining a plot that fits the song, and starts to direct the scenes in my mind. Having the right atmosphere, effective camera angles and scenes transition, I just created one awesome trailer video! But yea, only limited to one viewer.....because it's my mind.....and I am the only one....okay okay of course you get it lol.

Again, to make whatever that is happening in my head into reality, I will be needing them gadgets. Just give me a DSLR capable of recording high quality videos, and Adobe Premiere Pro (yeap, with just Premiere), I will be able to make awesome videos! But of course not immediately lol, will need to train my directing and shooting skills so it'll match as close as possible to whatever that's in my head.

Sure I have been having this dream for quite a long time, but I wasn't this enthusiastic before. All this thanks to this one club I've recently joined; MILE club. MILE stands for The Multimedia Initiative for the Language of English. To summarize what they do, from what I know, they organizes some English classes or meetings or events (no idea what's the right term) for the members to enhance their English and communication skills. They also organizes dramas, using the university's main hall as their venue which can be enjoyed  by not just the students, but outsiders as well; the biggest highlight of MILE's activity.

Okay enough about the club, back to the main point; what exactly did they do that made me this enthusiastic. Yes, they organizes dramas, while doing that, they will also make trailers to promote the upcoming drama they are working on. Yes, those trailer they made, grabbed my attention immediately.

Of course the trailers they made are not comparable to those awesome movie trailers out there, but they really did a good job, I mean it, really. While watching their trailers, my hands got itchy, my head starts to imagine all the awesome scenes and transitions that can be added into the trailer to make it even more awesome! If only they give me a chance by, well, lending me a camera and gimme the plot for the trailer, I shall help them direct and shoot the scenes as awesome as possible! 

For your information, no I am not telling you that I can do better than what they did, just sharing my feelings on being able to make my own interpretation of the trailers they made; same plot but with my directions and making sure each scenes are made as movie-like as possible.

Below are some of the trailers they made to promote their dramas. For those of you with high standards, please lower your expectations. Not in a bad way though, truthfully they are not professionals, but the efforts they put in making these trailers deserves a salute.

1. Bonnie and Clyde:

2. Merchant of Venice:

Okay, time to promote myself too lol. I do have some videos I made myself (only 2 for now), but with limited resources and video editing skills. All the scenes used are not recorded by me, I got it from others. With my limited editing skills, I made sure each scenes used fits the mood of the song. Both videos I made are for my sis' wedding. Er...enjoy?

1. Sis' Engagement - Totally made this just for fun.

2. Sis' Wedding - Kinda a rushed product. Tried making it as movie trailer as possible lol.

That's all about my dream for now. Just sharing my dreams and thoughts, since this is the only way I can express myself. Hoping things will go as I wanted in the future.

suddenly, a movie review: MAN OF STEEL

Saturday, June 15, 2013 || 8:09 AM || 0 comments ||

I sure haven't post anything here for quite a while. Well, here I am, again, writing random stuffs and farts.

As the title says, yes recently I went to the cinema for the movie Man of Steel; one of the movies I highly anticipate. Been watching all the trailers and TV spots before the movie was out, it looked so damn good; the new and modern look of Superman, General Zod, and all the visual aspects of the film. So yea, suddenly feels like wanna write a review for the movie, even though no one cares anyway.

From this point onwards, the following review is fully written by a person who is not a certified movie reviewer and doesn't know THAT much about Superman and whatever happens in his universe. Just a random dude Well, here it goes.

 **Might contain spoilers**

First part of the film, really starts from the beginning; the planet Krypton and all the crazy things that happens inside. It was a very good introduction in my opinion, not to mention well executed too. No problem for this part...except what comes after.

The scenes in this movie (after the awesome introduction), truthfully, are not what I was expecting from a movie I highly anticipate (well, things like this happens).

The scenes feels kinda unsatisfying for most parts. Fine they tried not to do a typical superhero movie plot; starts from a boy, then his school life, gradually learns this and that, then finally, becomes superhero. Instead, the movie jumps straight into the action; Clark Kent is all grown up, helping people and all, searching for the truth about himself. All about his past are shown as flashbacks instead, which is, an okay idea if well executed. Well, here goes my opinion regarding this part.

First of all, this movie is a reboot, everything must start from the beginning. Everyone wants to know how the journey starts for Clark. Fine, do not make it TOO long, but just make sure it is long and interesting enough for the audience to be able to grasp the life of Clark from the learning period until he becomes Superman. From this, the audience will get to connect with the character Clark in a more effective way and will dramatically (and positively) reacts to whatever happens next. I find this really helpful, ESPECIALLY for Man of Steel since it is the first proper reboot for Superman and for modern audience (no, Superman Returns doesn't count). INSTEAD, they start Clark's journey straight to when he is already an adult, knows his abilities, and starts doing what he does best. And not to mention, they were like "okay, let us put some short flashbacks here and there, so people will quickly and roughly understands what he has gone through during the past". Because of this, everything feels so fast. People got bored and doesn't connect well with the character Clark due to lack of deepness in the story of his past. From this, the audience will look forward to the action scenes instead, rather than getting to really know the new Superman.

Awesome action and fighting scenes, what a Superman movie needs. How was it? I must say, it was good, really good, for most parts. From the part when General Zod made his first contact with earth, it starts to go uphill from there, I meant action-wise. The explosions and destruction scenes are amazing, same goes for the fight scenes. I must say, from watching all the action and fighting scenes, I became a big fan of the character Faora; one of General Zod's minions. The actor Antje Traue really did a good job playing Faora; how she fights, how she behaves, her expressions, really makes her a badass character. Plus, she is hot....huehuehuehue. Don't get me wrong though, General Zod is awesome as well, but Faora has more awesome action scenes than Zod which kinda overshadows Zod's awesomeness in the movie.It took quite a while until Zod finally steps down for epic fighting scene. It starts well, but after a while, it gets kinda messy and draggy. They both just flew around kinda too much at some point. But at least the fight ends well.

Oh yea, the visuals. Well, as expected from Zack Snyder, the visuals are top notch. Some movements are kinda cartoony though, but yes I do understand, the process wasn't easy, at least those scenes still looks good and satisfying. The actors also did a very good job, no awkward acting whatsoever. As for the soundtracks, all of the songs fits the scenes really well, can't wait to get my hands on the original soundtrack lol.

Well, too summarize everything, Man of Steel is a good superhero movie, but not one of the best though. Almost, but no. Why? Because on how they handle the scenes as I mentioned earlier. They should at least include more back story for Clark at the right moments so that everything doesn't feel rushed and audience will get to know Clark even deeper, hence connecting themselves with the character. Other than that, everything looks and sounds great. The action and fighting scenes are what you would expect from a modern superhero movie, especially Man of Steel; awesome and satisfying. If you are a Superman fan and your main reason is to watch the new Superman in action but doesn't care about how deep the back story is (as long as there are enough to keep you going), then this movie is for you. Not just for fans of course, even the non-fans will be able to enjoy this movie, at least for most parts.

Due to my awesome level of anticipation towards this movie, I shall give it a 8/10. But, if I wasn't looking forward to it and watching it just for fun, I might give it 7.5/10.

The End.

p/s: Please ignore any grammar mistakes lol.